In that moment, I knew he needed nothing more than to hear the words “I choose you.”
I missed home, my family, my friends, and my routine.
I was insecure and unsure.
I needed comfort and encouragement to enjoy this time in our lives.
But the most important thing for my husband to know in this one particular moment was that I chose him, continue to choose him, and will always choose him.
This realization dawned on me during a conversation about missing our KY people while trying to settle down with CO people – after one big giant move across the country.
It was a conversation that kept occurring. I was missing my friends and family and he was wanting to live it up in CO.
There’s beauty in the differences between us, but in that moment, I was struggling. I did not want to embrace life far away from the familiar.
But I realized that my feelings and my words were opposing the most important idea that my husband needed to hear – “I choose you.”
Yes, I’m allowed to have feelings of missing those I love. But my feelings and my words were butting against the truth of choosing my husband. Something needed to change.
And so, in that moment, I stopped, looked him in the eye, and said, “I choose you. I will always choose you.”
The relief that flooded was pure grace.
Choosing my man means knowing that the going will get tough, but we can get through it together.
I can miss my KY people and still choose my husband.
And I will continue to choose him daily.
Here are six ways I’m daily reminding my husband that I choose him.
- “I choose to love you.”
In the difficult moments and the sweet moments, I will not stop loving my husband. This means sacrifice, dying to myself, and adjusting my attitude to be one of constant grace-filled love.
- “I choose to respect you.”
Respect his opinion, his time, his resources, and his hobbies. Go to your husband for advice and guidance as you make decisions. Quit struggling on your own and say “I need help.” This communicates respect and trust.
- “I choose to follow you.”
Whether you’re literally following him to a new place or a new home, or you’re following his dreams and excitement, choose to follow. Allow your husband to lead and willingly walk beside.
- “I choose to laugh with you.”
Let loose and be silly. Laugh at his jokes. Let him tickle you. Watch a ridiculous movie. Have fun and choose to enjoy those moments.
- “I choose to grow with you.”
You will not be the same age in the same stage of life forever. Newlyweds and the kid stage and the grandparent stage – nothing about those three stages look the same. And just as you will grow and mature throughout stages of life, you will grow and mature in your faith. Let God work on your hearts – together – and commit to growing together.
- “I choose to believe in you.”
This one is important. Support your man and believe in his abilities, his wisdom, his experiences, and his decisions. The opposite of belief is doubt, and I think many marriages experience doubt. Choose to believe in your husband – to trust him completely.
I encourage you today to pick one of these “I choose to…” statements and let it define the way you are married.
Because if you’re going through the motions, chances are you haven’t taken the time to stop and think about the ways you are (or are not) choosing your spouse. It makes a big difference in the way you relate and live. It is important.
Choose to say “I choose you” today.
Latest posts by Alison Tiemeyer (see all)
- What to do When Brokenness Surrounds You - May 26, 2016
- 5 Simple Prayers to Start Your Day Well - April 12, 2016
- To the One Who Feels Unworthy of a Savior this Easter - March 24, 2016