One of my sister’s favorite expressions when dealing with people who are rude is, “Wow, that person must have missed that day in Kindergarten.” “That day” of course referring to the day, week, months or years where that person learned their manners or lack thereof. Is everyone entitled to a bad day? Of course, I am not unrealistic. Should it effect others though? Probably not.
How can we change this? My sister enjoys making light of the situation, but for some it’s extremely hurtful to have their day affected by the actions of others; especially if that person is a friend or family member. I think that hurts even more.
The best answer that helps me in situations where I am dealing with someone who is being unfriendly is to pray for them. If it is a total stranger that may be your only option and then let it go to let God deal with it so it doesn’t affect your day or your heart. If it is a friend or family member in a continuously hurtful situation, you can do the same but also you have the right to address it with them. Too many times people start talking to others who are not involved in the situation and, of course, they are going to take your side because they’re not getting to hear the other person’s truth; just your truth.
Matthew 5:22 NASB says, “But I say to you that everyone who is angry with his brother shall be guilty before the court; and whoever says to his brother, ‘You good-for-nothing,’ shall be guilty before the supreme court; and whoever says, ‘You fool,’ shall be guilty enough to go into the fiery hell.”
If you address the issue with the person you are having the problem with, you are avoiding the sin of judgment on the other person. Maybe something is going on with the other person that you would have never imagined and they are hurting people because they themselves are hurting. Try to bring it up when both parties are in a friendly conversation. Explain to that person how much they mean to you and that they are a special person in your life, but (insert problem/situation) is affecting you.
There are many possible outcomes to this, but hopefully that person will reflect and acknowledge what they have been doing and then you have a path to mend that relationship. It may take some time for this to sink in for others and it may take time to heal the relationship. Yet others will not acknowledge what they have done or apologize for their behavior. In this case, it’s okay also. You have chosen to not only forgive them but to address it with them so it is off of your heart and you can make the decision as to whether it’s going to affect you anymore. In the game of sports, the “ball is in their court.”
Everyday we wake up with the conscious decision of this is how I am going to live my life today. We can decide to be cruel or hurtful or we can live like Joshua 24:15a “But as for me and my household, we will serve the Lord.”
Are there relationships that have you hurting right now? Surrender that pain to our loving Father in heaven and choose to forgive that person. It doesn’t mean that you let them back in to hurt you, but it is forgiving so that you can lead a healthy life. Hopefully the relationships will heal and you will have a better relationship than before.