Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.
Ephesians 5:22-24 (NIV)
Don’t run away. I know that is the usual inclination when words like submission are thrown around. People don’t like the word. Women sometimes hate it the most. I think at times for good reason. Visions of brow beaten women. Used and abused. There to clean the house. Care for kids. And husband. A life spent on others. With few rewards. Bent under the rod of submission. And expected to be happy doing it. But despite how we may cringe. The Bible uses that detestable word, So is God asking us, as women to be less than? Could He possibly expect us to bow down at the supreme authority of the men in our lives? Losing who we are in order to constantly please?
I don’t believe that is what God has in mind. Yes, we are called to submit. The Bible is plain. But what does that really mean?
My husband and I have been married for almost 10 years. Our marriage is strong. We love each other more every day. But it has taken work. Every day kind of work. We have both changed and matured. As a wife I have had to learn what it means to submit. I have opinions. A LOT of opinions. I like to make those opinions known to my somewhat passive husband. It is easy for me to overpower him. To push my desires on him. And be stubborn until he inevitably gives in. I have mule powered stubbornness people. And I like getting my way. But I have realized that me getting my way is not what adds strength to our relationship. A relationship I want to last forever.
What does being a submissive wife look like?
Submission is what makes it work. Believe me. I am not a roll over and play dead kind of wife. I like to be involved and be a part of decisions. But I have learned that working on the same team as my husband is far more effective than competing for control. [Tweet “God has given us unique roles. Unique perspectives. And together we accomplish things.”] We have fun. I am not less important because I am not a man. But my job is different. As wives we don’t bear the weight of responsibility for the family. We can help relieve the weight by supporting our husbands. Trust me it works better.
It isn’t about giving up everything we want. We may have to give up some things. But we gain so much. But we gain peace. And we gain strength. We gain the trust of our husbands. God knew what He was doing when He asked us to be help mates. In submitting to the authority of our husband we gain the freedom to be who God has called us to be. When we submit to the Lord our lives make more sense. They certainly aren’t always perfect. But walking in the will of God is always better than being out of it. And when we submit to our husbands as God has asked to do, it has much the same effect.
So the next time you hear the word submit try not to run the other direction. Instead think of it as an opportunity. An opportunity to make your marriage stronger. To be a team player. To be the woman that God has called you to be.
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